It’s Totally Fucking Hot Out! Go Fetch Me Some Iced Tea

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I totally just discovered one of my callers is almost one of my neighbors. How exciting and he’s a cute Jewish guy! I’m starting to think I’m going to have a really fun new toy to play with and add to my collection of totally local losers. We sat and mourned the Lakers game last night while he sat there and jerked his icky stick off. GROSS!
We then have Brian the Niteflirt weirdo who pretends he’s drinking for over an hour for a session of “forced intoxication” we should really call it fantasy forced intox since its obvious he is totally sober during our session. What a fucking loser! I like a dork who can really party. I’m off to get my nails done and meet the girls for lunch.
Later Losers,
Jappy Princess