Lighten Up Loser It’s Just Sex!

Filed Under Jewish Princess Mailbag, Major Niteflirt Loser, Super Geek, Totally Random, jewish princess humiliation | Leave a Comment

Hey dorks, it’s Jewish Princess mailbag fun time. There’s always some humorless douche out there who wants to spoil the party isn’t there? I wanted to share this awesome email I got from a serious man, I can only imagine what this nebbish looks like.
“Melissa, I’m not sure what you are trying to achieve with your website, but I would kindly ask you to consider the negative image which you are generating against the Jewish people. You are perpetuating a negative stereotype of Jews which we have worked so hard over the years to eradicate. You are portraying us (at best) as snobbish, materialistic, uncaring, non-observant elitists. There are always exceptions to the rule, but you know as well as I that the majority of Jews don’t fall into this category. In Talmud Torah, we were taught to practice sh’mira ha, lashon, or guarding our speech at all times. If you are putting out falsehood, then you are guilty of motzi shem ra, or making a bad name or reputation against a person or group. I hope you take this to heart. You should also demonstrate modesty by not showing off your body for everyone to see. This indicates a lack of self-respect and self-esteem. I don’t mean to appear to be lecturing you, but your motives are questionable and they baffle me.
Warm regards”
Like seriously dude pull the yarmulke from your ass and lighten the fuck up! My favorite part of this letter is where he says “your motives are questionable and they baffle me.
Really? Is it that hard to figure out? What baffles me is religious people who have their heads so far shoved up some bullshit book they follow. Figures the guy is just like the stereotype of a cheap Jew and didn’t have the balls to pay and call and ask me.
blogsept10

Talk To A Real Jewish Princess, Call Me On Niteflirt

The Loser Reject-O That Rides Like A Queen

Filed Under Ass Loving Worship, Blackmailed By Melissa, Cash Pig, Cuckold, Jewish Princess Mailbag, Major Niteflirt Loser, Super Geek, Tease And Denial | Leave a Comment

Hey nerds, stalkers and Jewish Princess lovers, I’m back from NYC and a full week of shopping, fine dining and culture. I know you missed me with the exception of the lucky few who got to talk to me.
I have really high expectations for my latest loser project that’s underway. I plan on using him up and abusing him like the fag that he is.
About my new idiot:
His name is Ricky Retardo, Pac 10 educated with B.S. in Finance & Marketing, Occupation: Grocery Clerk (Associate of the Month June 2007)
Status: Single Pole Smoker
Recovering Drug Addict/Alcohol Abuser (now addicted to humiliation, cock swallowing and self-bukkake)
Goals: Get used, abused and humiliated and feed my addiction to Cock and A Superior Jewish Princess.
With so many of you idiots begging for my attention I’m thinking I might come up with a contest something like Banished to the Village of Idiots, take part in LoserDome and match wits with other Morons !! Think about it? I’m nearly gagging at the thought of how many of you little loser dicks just got hard right now thinking of being the top loser.
So like, now they want to make a reality show with Jewish American Princess’s. I think maybe they need to make one that’s got the not so stereotypical Jewish Princess. You know the kind like me, the kind that likes to talk shit, not give a fuck about Prada and into getting laid by a big cock! Bottom line is, one thing unites all of us Jewish American Princess’s we love money and we always get our way.
Q.What’s a Jewish American Princess’s favorite position?
A. Facing Your Wallet
I’m back, taking calls and coming up with even more ways to fuck you fools over. Kissy Kissy

Holidays With Jewish Princess Melissa And Heeb Magazine

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Happy Holiday’s I’m so glad Christmas is finally over, I guess the word got out this year that the cool thing to do on Christmas is order Chinese food. This year delivery was an hour and 1/2 wait, as if I want to wait that long for Chinese food, good thing I flirt with the manager all the time and called in and just gave him my best whiny sweet voice telling him there was like no way I could wait that long for my tangerine beef. He giggled and said he would place my order on top and I would be the first stop and my sizzling rice soup would be sizzling! See it like totally pay’s off to flirt with the manager of your fave Chinese joint.
If you didn’t already see it, the coolest hipster Jew rag (they didn’t even pay me to say that) Heeb Magazine wrote about me. Check it out nerd herd and if you’re a fellow heeb reading this and you don’t have a subscription then pony up and subscribe. Hell, even you non Semitic sheep should subscribe.

Heeb Magazine

Comedy Mail From The Ignorant Shmuck Mailbag

Filed Under Douchebag Loser, Jewish Princess Mailbag, Small Cock Humiliation, Super Geek, Totally Random | Leave a Comment

I love waking up to a a good laugh but this was such a great email I had to share.
Here is the love note from the adoring shmuck who has some serious anger issues with Jewish Women.
———————-
“OK … here’s how I know you are NOT a Jap. LOL
1) JAPS don’t wear braces, and if they have to, they don’t wear the old metal kind like the chick in the picture.
2) JAPS don’t move from Manhattan to “the Valley”. The valley is full of WASPS, and can’t hold a candle to NYC. A true JAP would not be caught dead in the Valley, so your mother moving there is unlikely. Manhattan is the center of the WORLD … no self respecting JAP would ever leave it.
3) You fingernails are WAY too short for a JAP… hell, they aren’t even attractive, and all JAPS have hot nails. You don’t … at least not yet. They look like little baby nails. My cock would look really big in your hands. Oh wait… jewish girls dont ever really TOUCH cock, do they?
————————–
Yo goy boy Roy,
I haven’t had braces since 4th grade but nice try on that, As far as “The Valley” being full of WASPS, your ignorance really shines through on that comment but nice try. If Manhattan is the center of the world I think you should expand your travels and learn a little something about other places your ignorance in travel is really showing with that statement.
My fingernails are too short? Wake up dumb fuck this isn’t New Jersey circa 1994 with long tacky nails. Oh yeah and we DO touch cock. Just not yours.
Thanks for the fun email!!!

Total Loser Freaky Sissy Slut Niteflirt Whore

Filed Under Jewish Princess Mailbag, Super Geek, Total Sissy | Leave a Comment

Lucky losers feast your eyes on this treat for the day. Its time to bust out the Jappy Princess Niteflirt mailbag, We’ve got major loser mail to share!
I got this email from this life’s little reject who according to his profile has been a member since 2005. This email is so gross and pathetic and it looks like a form letter. I asked a couple other Niteflirt girls if they had gotten this email and they both started laughing and saying this freak has been sending this same freakish email out for years. Oh gee how could I have guessed that being he’s been on like forever! Just when you think you’ve read all the weirdest emails then comes along an even freakier one anxiously awaiting to be blogged.
These losers with these freak fantasies are the ones you have to wonder about. FREAK! !
Of course my fave part is the end where he says “messing up a fellow chick like me” FELLOW CHICK… Thanks for the chuckle sissy!

This is the form letter that he sends out, spell check much? ….. Enjoy reading.

“omg your bellybutton and tummy are totally yummy hot and soooo cute!!!!! deep breathe…ok… I will be honest with you…just remember this is very real!! i will really do this if you wanna try this!!….whimper…Please just bear with me and seriously give it thought about trying as I think we could have fun trying this..well you would have the fun i sure won’t! giggle!…..
Ok…this is humilating and kinda of icky I suppose but here it goes! im being totally serious here…..I found this glass candydish with a lid that has a point on it that comes to a point like..umm..i dunno..maybe 4 inches in the air? i checked and my wittle innie bellybutton goes in maybe like not quite an inch?? deep breathe…i was thinking..if you really wanna try to hurt my super cutie innie..i could slip on my wittle XS ( i wear like a size 0 most of the time so you know i could totally be made into your rag doll!) white string bikini…maybe slip on a button down top and roll it up so that it was like right at my bottom of my ribcage and suck my tiny tummy in as tight as i could and knot the top..pulling it as tight as possible so that my poor wittle tiny tummy and bellybutton were forced out more….
then i could call you and put the lid on the floor and lay facedown on it with the point in my innie while you talked to me about hurting my bellybutton. I know the real pain i feel would prolly be intense but if it made you giggle i would do it! if you wannted to be super mean then you could tell me to lay it in a chair and i could lay on it and lift my arms and legs off the floor and all my weight would be on my poor wittle innie bellybutton..i can’t imagine how bad that woudl hurt me but I would do it for you because..omg i cant beleive this but you totally get me all wet! i probably would have trouble getting a breathe like that so it would be kinda like the you were smothering me too! slowly torturing me until i black out from pain and lack of air! all the while you would be saying bellybutton and talking about hurting my bellybutton and laughing about it and bellybutton baring clothes you like to wear and just saying the word bellybutton so i associate pain with it!
let me know what you think and if you would seriuoulsy pwease think about trying it as you sound totally awesome …it would be a big first step in making me not like bellybuttons! remmeber though i would really be laying on the lid for real! not joking!! I look forward to us trying out the lid and chair for real if the you wanna!! omg looking at the lid as i type this..makes me very scared!! the point will probably do some real damamge to my cutie innie..but im sure you would dig that…giggle…so if totally messing up a fellow chick like me sounds like fun to you lmk!!!
April”

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