Ask A Sexpert – Hot And Sweaty In The City

Filed Under Jewish Princess Mailbag, Sexpert Sex Advice, Totally Random

Your Daily Tease Sextpert is back again with

Ask a Sexpert of the Day: BiGuy43 writes:

Since I moved to NYC two years ago, I have always found it a challenge — OK, just straight up painful labor — to perform oral on my partners. Maybe it’s waiting underground on subway platforms in 90-degree heat or how everyone bicycles everywhere, but, whenever I go down on anyone, there is always such an unbelievable ripeness. I just want to gag. But I also want to satisfy my partners, as (I would like to think) they do me. Any tips on how to soldier through, or should I just cut out head until the season changes?

Hey there, BiGuy. I hope you’re enjoying your new life in The Dirty Apple. I know how hot and stinky the city can be. Those days when you come home and wipe your face, only to look down and see questionable brown smudge all over your town. That’s why I moved to California, so now pollution just hides up my nose. Thank gawd I have a great dermatologist to keep my kisser in tip-top condition.

There’s really nothing worse during a hook-up than getting ready for some hot action downtown, and the smell is worse than the dumpster behind Arthur Treacher’s Fish and Chips. But there’s no need to wait out the season for you to chomp your gums on some sweet/tangy poon (and/or man meat). Hot, muggy days give you the opportunity to suggest you and your partner have some hot wet fun. Take a shower, the both of you, and hose that stinky chode or chonch down! It’s both romantic and guaranteed to wipe the vile scents of the NYC off you and your partner’s pretties. Now go out and get yourself some nice body wash, not the cheap shit from the drug store. Also, buy a bottle of Fresh Balls for yourself while you’re at it.

For more wisdom from phone-sex-domme Jappy Princess Melissa please email us your sex questions, and she’ll smarten you up with her sexpertise.