Comedy Mail From The Ignorant Shmuck Mailbag

Filed Under Douchebag Loser, Jewish Princess Mailbag, Small Cock Humiliation, Super Geek, Totally Random | Leave a Comment

I love waking up to a a good laugh but this was such a great email I had to share.
Here is the love note from the adoring shmuck who has some serious anger issues with Jewish Women.
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“OK … here’s how I know you are NOT a Jap. LOL
1) JAPS don’t wear braces, and if they have to, they don’t wear the old metal kind like the chick in the picture.
2) JAPS don’t move from Manhattan to “the Valley”. The valley is full of WASPS, and can’t hold a candle to NYC. A true JAP would not be caught dead in the Valley, so your mother moving there is unlikely. Manhattan is the center of the WORLD … no self respecting JAP would ever leave it.
3) You fingernails are WAY too short for a JAP… hell, they aren’t even attractive, and all JAPS have hot nails. You don’t … at least not yet. They look like little baby nails. My cock would look really big in your hands. Oh wait… jewish girls dont ever really TOUCH cock, do they?
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Yo goy boy Roy,
I haven’t had braces since 4th grade but nice try on that, As far as “The Valley” being full of WASPS, your ignorance really shines through on that comment but nice try. If Manhattan is the center of the world I think you should expand your travels and learn a little something about other places your ignorance in travel is really showing with that statement.
My fingernails are too short? Wake up dumb fuck this isn’t New Jersey circa 1994 with long tacky nails. Oh yeah and we DO touch cock. Just not yours.
Thanks for the fun email!!!

Paging Dirty Doctor Steve, This Strap On Needs Resuscitation

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Long time Jew luster and physician Doctor Steve has had a severe case of J1P1 That’s Jap Flu for those of you who didn’t know. He came to me with the following symptoms, insatiable craving for cock, lack of focus (because all he can focus on is my sick banging body) the urge to keep paying me more and more and well, I just can’t stop sending him pictures. He came to my urgent care with no Jappy Insurance so guess he just got fucked!
Doctor Steve has been calling for a long time now so I know all his faggy little triggers, Just writing about him I can hear in my mind the way his voice goes from normal to whiny Jew homo the moment I mention him sucking cock. A long time phone sex addict he’s been slutting around Niteflirt for quite a while but he knows the best cocktors are always Jewish and can’t stay away. I used to get the little bitch to tell me about all the other men in the hospital he works with that he wants to suck off. WHAT A HO! After bouncing up and down on his surrogate cock for about 10 minutes he was getting really close to making a messy mess so, I told him I would let my hot hung Jewish boyfriend blow a creamy kosher load in his face for dessert right after he fucked me. Game Over… Doctor Steve got the medication he needed and will be back for a follow up.

Work Those Hips Out Sissy Boi

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Hey goy boys and jew jew bees,
All dolled up while the wife is at work makes Krissy a pretty sissy boy. With the new release of the new Beyonce / Lady Gaga video Video Phone I thought it would be appropriate for the sissy to learn his best poses and dance moves from a prior humiliation assignment and show them off for me while we were doing a little video action of our own. I had my boyfriend over here and had him in on the fun, We love the sissy Krissy, great legs pussy face. He couldn’t find his dildo which was kinda a bust but, there’s always next time!
I took a slew of new japtastic photos to over charge you for on Niteflirt via pay to view. What do you know, as I’m composing this blog a little submissive pay pig cash slave ass pig just oinked at my door. Come on in little piggy, thats right lets open that wallet and show you what happens when a real Jewish Princess takes the wheel.
Hanukkah is early this year so get your credit cards ready for swiping. Last year I ended up with a few grand in gift cards from all you ass puppets and this year I want double that. Did you hear me, I said this year I want double that!
I kinda want a pair of Ugg boots but like, they are soooo ugly and personally I think they are totally played out but fuck, my prissy toes are cold and well, I guess I could just wear them as slippers and never be seen outside my house in them. Shoe slaves go make yourself useful and get me a pair. Pronto ya dump pup.

sissykris1sissykris2sissykris3sissykris4

As Tall As Big Bird Hung Like A Bic Lighter

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Happy Monday lurkers and luster’s I had a fantastic weekend, Saturday was hot date night with my boyfriend and I actually paid for dinner, well, lets face it I didn’t pay for it, one of you adoring kosher pigs paid for it.
Football Sunday my friend Cara came over, we made plans to have bloody mary’s and watch a marathon day of Gossip Girl. We got through about 4 episodes but the pause button was coming on all day since I kept getting interrupted by desperate little dicked men needing a piece of me. As if this Jewish girl is going to turn down cash, of course not, Thats what tivo is for.
It’s been a long time but, like most groveling fetish addicted slaves that come back so did the shrimpy Jewish guy. He was gone for a while but Mr successful with his multiple homes and good looks was still missing one thing. Standing tall and handsome at 6’3 the black cock craving Jewish man was hung like a Bic lighter.
He sent me photos of his underdeveloped pathetic pink dick and I showed my friend and we were just cracking up at that thing. No wonder people think Jewish men have small peckers. 3 inches later he was begging to come see me in Los Angeles and go on the hunt for some hard core Mandingo lovin. This small Jewish guy knows his place, ultimately its having a young JAP like me taking everything from my new cuckold Sugar Daddy.
He asked me if it would be possible to get some of my big black guy friends who play for UCLA to come over to his house. I said I would invite them over as long as he would pull his little Jewish dick out of his pants so I could show it off. The grand prize of all of course would be to see my boyfriends huge Jewish cock right in his face jerked off by me spraying him with his kosher salt malt. My friend Carrie said she’s never even seen a dick that small, ew gross how pathetic. We laughed for hours and had him pay for our take out delivery from Jerrys Deli with his credit card number and we ordered dinner too while we were at it. Cash raped and feeling happy , I love being the most naughty Jewish Princess.
I’m working on making some mp3′s I’ll post a few soon. Later dorks.
Hung Like A Lighter

Hey Dork Which Douchebag Are You?

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A lot of people think the guys who call me are just big fat balding losers. Well ok, there are plenty of those who are calling and while that’s not the case for all my subbies and phone sex junkies, I would say the majority of callers are just straight up douchebags. Attractive, fit hair styled, bottom line you’re still just douchebags in my eyes. This clip says it all, now raise your hand when you see that image of yourself floating across the screen.
You may be the idiot who laughs at his own joke, or the loud dumb fuck who tries to show off in front of his sexy dumb bunny broad of a bimbo girlfriend. Truth be told, a good majority of you losers reading this right now are one of these guys, and if you’re not then I assure you, you know him. A Jappy Jewish Princess would NEVER date a shmuck like YOU or these tools.

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