Lighten Up Loser It’s Just Sex!

September 1, 2010

Hey dorks, it’s Jewish Princess mailbag fun time. There’s always some humorless douche out there who wants to spoil the party isn’t there? I wanted to share this awesome email I got from a serious man, I can only imagine what this nebbish looks like.
“Melissa, I’m not sure what you are trying to achieve with your website, but I would kindly ask you to consider the negative image which you are generating against the Jewish people. You are perpetuating a negative stereotype of Jews which we have worked so hard over the years to eradicate. You are portraying us (at best) as snobbish, materialistic, uncaring, non-observant elitists. There are always exceptions to the rule, but you know as well as I that the majority of Jews don’t fall into this category. In Talmud Torah, we were taught to practice sh’mira ha, lashon, or guarding our speech at all times. If you are putting out falsehood, then you are guilty of motzi shem ra, or making a bad name or reputation against a person or group. I hope you take this to heart. You should also demonstrate modesty by not showing off your body for everyone to see. This indicates a lack of self-respect and self-esteem. I don’t mean to appear to be lecturing you, but your motives are questionable and they baffle me.
Warm regards”
Like seriously dude pull the yarmulke from your ass and lighten the fuck up! My favorite part of this letter is where he says “your motives are questionable and they baffle me.
Really? Is it that hard to figure out? What baffles me is religious people who have their heads so far shoved up some bullshit book they follow. Figures the guy is just like the stereotype of a cheap Jew and didn’t have the balls to pay and call and ask me.
blogsept10

Talk To A Real Jewish Princess, Call Me On Niteflirt

Dreaming Of A Kinky Jewish Princess

August 23, 2010

Loser boy Chris R in NY has his kinky Jewish Princess so far embedded up his cuckold ass and brain that he’s been having dreams about me while his wife Maria is right there next to him. For multiple nights now he’s been dreaming of me climbing the corporate ladder in him and his wife’s company as I end up treating her like a bitch slave and make her work for MY Jappy ass.
Your typical turn the tables type thing where the loser Chris ends up blowing his load as soon as I tell him I demand that I make more then the $450,000 salary he earns. Fuck that, I’m the one who’s at the top of that corporate dream! You bitches work for me now duh your Jewish Princess boss is in charge ! Kiss my royal ass !

I had a hysterical 1 minute Niteflirt call, the wanker says “Hi, I was going to meet you from Jdate and go on a date with you but instead I went out and got fucked by a tranny” click! ok, like how bad did this pole smoker need to confess his closeted sins. I’m so thankful I don’t have to deal with the Jdate dorks.

Talk To A Real Jewish Princess, Call Me On Niteflirt

The Humiliation Diet

August 15, 2010

Saturday morning here I am watching t.v relaxing for a moment ignoring some idiot on the phone when I see on the news the new “Humiliation diet”. I think I had to do a double take and run to my lap top to see if it was true. My overweight callers know how much I love to do fatty patty humiliation. I think it reminds them of being younger and fat and the hot Jewish Girl like like me would point and tease and call him bagel belly.
There it was, people outing themselves with their disgustingly embarrassing eating habits. Yeah its great you park your car really far in the office parking lot to walk to your desk but wow, look at the shit you consume. Nice job on the salad, those extra 1342 calories in ranch dressing is sure to help you drop that fat.
I got side tracked anyway my point is, fuck this humiliation diet on the web and Twitter crap. You think tweeting that you just downed a carton of Ben & Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby” is going to make the fat melt off? Do you expect people to tell you what a loser you are on twitter for pounding so much garbage? Lets talk about a real weight loss plan. For a mere $2.99 on Niteflirt I’ve been poking fatty’s stay puff bellies, verbally annihilate fat pieces of lazy shit for a few years now. How can I resist when I see some porky ass bitch get on the web cam and the first thing I’m doing is recommending a good bra for those moobie man bitch tits. Rant over , now get those potato chips out of your grubby chubby fingers and call me up right now so I can help you drop the chub.

Talk To A Real Jewish Princess, Call Me On Niteflirt

Phone Sex Tips For The Moronic

August 5, 2010

Here I am with some phone sex tips for the moronic losers of Generation L like YOU. Now I don’t know about other ladies of the sexual telephony game but I do know all about myself. And what I’m going to offer up are some tips about calling someone like myself on Niteflirt.
1. Please don’t call me up and say “I’m laying bed” when its the middle of the afternoon. That annoys me like so much, get your lazy ass out of bed.
2. Have a personality and not sit there like a fucking mute. I’m not a robot you think because you’re paying me I should sit there and do all the talking and perform like some monkey. You pay for the privilege of speaking TO me. Not for me to talk AT you.
3. It’s an adult chat line not a psychic hotline I don’t know what you want. It’s called communication so tell me what you want to talk about and when I ask you don’t say “I don’t know” unless you’re prepared for me to really go off on you.
4.Have something other to say then Uh huh, Yeah, yep, Mmmhmm. When I’m trying to make conversation and all I get out of you is “yeah, Uh huh” I’m about ready to kick you in the nuts. Speak up you dumb stroke money.
6. Please stop calling and trying to have a soft seductive voice. It makes me cringe when I get some of you losers calling up trying to sound sexy. Howling wolves would make my pussy more wet then your non sexy voice.
7. When you tell me you want to be blackmailed and throw me all your most likely fake personal information it really kinda ruins the fantasy for blackmail you morons. Anyone who really want’s to be blackmailed isn’t passing out the information. Seriously shmucks talking about putting me to sleep.
8. Don’t call my IGNORE line and try talking to me because it’s a bit less expensive then my other lines. It’s really not going to work, you’re not being clever thinking that I don’t know.
9. When you call and tell me your stroking your cock I kinda wanna gag, Do you think I want to know that you’re sitting there with your grody slob knob in your hand. Unless I ask if your fucking your fist save the information for someone who gives a shit.
That’s my rant on that for now, i’m sure I’ll add to the list but I’m tired of thinking about it.
Oh look it’s another one of my sissy boy callers in a girly get up! Call me for some sissification or to help turn you into a Jappy Jewish Princess just like me.
Nice Dress Sissy

Talk To A Real Jewish Princess, Call Me On Niteflirt

San Diego Comic Con Antics

July 26, 2010

So like my friends and I had some business to do down in San Diego for dork fest 2010. We thought we would be all slick and take the train down from Los Angeles to avoid the traffic and well, that was a total nightmare of an idea. Seriously it was like standing room only over packed and crowded, as if I’m was going to come back that same way. I didn’t give a shit how much it was going to cost but we were totally getting a driver and a Town car or Escalade to take our asses back home. I feel totally skeeved out from all the nerd lust that was going on down in San Diego for Comic-Con. Oh my gawd I swear I could feel drool droplets like flying on me radiating from all the hot sweaty dorks.
Why was I there? Please dorks, you don’t need to know every element of my awesome life. I did meet a few new Niteflirt fans who I converted into now calling ME! I also met a slew of fist fucking toads that were ready to sign up and get some weekly abuse from the Jewish Princess. Everything was like totally crowded to to the max but we did have some awesome VIP hookups for some pretty rad parties.
A quick 48 hours flew by and of course I picked out the right suckers! At the Tron party we met these guys who were execs there on business and just our luck they were leaving when we wanted to AND were going back to Los Angeles via limo. I was totally drunk and told then about my blog and the whole Niteflirt thing and basically how I use men for money and exploit the fact that I’m a total JAP that loves having my ass kissed. They were so intrigued of course and like all dumb men, I saw them bone up and own up to those hard cocks as I told them tales.They were ass kissing me even harder I knew we had it in the bag. The limo ride back was amazing drinking wine, having these retards rub our feet, and of course a total pull over to get some On and Out burgers. Once again the Jewish Princess prevails courtesy of some rich hot MARRIED dorks that we thanked by giving them our panties and my Niteflirt phone number.

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